Friendship Is Like...

Friendship Is Like... NOKIA!
Connecting People!

Friendship Is Like... SAMSUNG
Every One Is Invited!

Friendship Is Like... CELL ONE
Changing Life Style!

Friendship Is Like... PHILIPS
Lets Makes Things Better!

Friendship Is Like... TAPAL
Jaisay Chaho Jeoooo!

Friendship Is Like... SPRITE
Sirf Yeh Bhujaye Pyas Baki All Bakwass!

Friendship Is Like... PEPSI
Ask For More!

Friendship Is Like... LG
Digitally Yours!

Friendship Is Like... NIKE
Just Do It!

Friendship Is Like... HABIB
Kyoun Kay Ye Dil Ka Mamla Hai!

Friendship Is Like... WAVES
Naam Hi Kafi Hai!

Friendship Is Like... BUTTER SCOTCH (hmmm)
Chalti Jayee Chalti Jayee Chali Jayeeeee!

Friendship Is Like... COCA COLA
Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

But my frndship is like LIC
Zindagi k sath bhi n
Zindagi k baad bhiiiii

WHY A STUDENT FAILS ???

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year has ONLY 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student.

1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days.

Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days.

Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days !

Days left 81.

7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.

Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness atleast 3 days.

Remaining days 3.

10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days.

1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?"
Balance days 0

"How can a student PASS

ATTITUDE

If
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is equal to

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then,

Hard Work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

Knowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

Love
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54%

Luck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47%

most of us think this is the most important ??? )

Then what makes 100% ?

Is it Money ? .. NO ! ! !
M+O+N+E+Y
13+15+14+5+25 = 72%

Leadership ? .... NO ! ! !
L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P
12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89%

Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude.

To go to the top,
to that 100% ,

what we really need to go further... a bit more...

ATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100%

About Orkut

A guy lost his girlfriend in a train accident....

But the gal's name nowhere appeared in the dead list. This guy grew up n became IT technical architect in his late 20's, achievement in itself!!
He hired developers from the whole globe and plan to make a software where he could search for his gf through the web..

Things went as planned...

n he found her, after losing millions of dollars and 3 long years!!
It was time to shut down the search operation, when the CEO of Google had a
word with this guy n took over this application,

This Software made a whopping 1 billion dollars profit in its first year, which we today know as ORKUT.

The guy's name is ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN Yes its named after him only. Today he is paid a hefty sum by Google for the things we do like scrapping. He is expected to be the richest person by 2009..

ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN today has 13 assistants to monitor his scrapbook & 8 to monitor his friends-list. He gets around 20,000 friend-requests a day & about 85,000 scraps!!!

Some other Cool Facts about this guy:

* He gets $12 from Google when every person registers to this website.

* He also gets $10 when you add somebody as a friend.

* He gets $8 when your friend's friend adds you as a friend & gets $6 if

anybody adds you as friend in the resulting chain.

* He gets $5 when you scrap somebody & $4 when somebody scraps you.

* He also gets $200 for each photograph you upload on Orkut.

* He gets $2.5 when you add your friend in the crush-list or in the hot-list.

* He gets $2 when you become somebody's fan.

* He gets $1.5 when somebody else becomes your fan.

* He even gets $1 every time you logout of Orkut.

* He gets $0.5 every time you just change your profile-photograph.

* He also gets $0.5 every time you read your friend's scrap-book & $0.5 every time
you view your friend's friend-list.

' WOW!!!

How is ur job?

How Is UR WORK ? ??? . response below ...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. ,,oooo,,,,,tension, tension ... !!!

Don't marry software girl

Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U .

Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.

Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.

Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.

Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles. .

Better marry a girl ...not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY

Urgent vacancy for the post of girl friend

Girl Friend

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.

Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.

Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
· bike rides each duration 1 hour
· trips to National Highways
· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
· Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
· Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
· 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.

There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.

Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with

Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.


Disclaimer :- this is only an email i have no need any girl friend....

"Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love..
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

How will developer Fix the bug !!!!!

############ ######### ######### ######### ######### ######### #

#include
#define LAST 10
int main()
{
int i, sum = 0;



for ( i = 1; i < = LAST; i++ ) { sum += i; }
/*-for-*/
printf("sum = %d\n", sum);
return 0;
}

############ ######### ######### ######### ######### ######### #

And the developer fixes it this way

..
..
..
..
...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
......
..
......
..
..
..
..
....
..

############ ######### ######### ######### ######### ######### #

#include stdio.h;
#define LAST 10
int main()
{
int i, sum = 0;

/*


*/

for ( i = 1; i < = LAST; i++ ) {
sum += i;
}
/*-for-*/
printf("sum = %d\n", sum);
return 0;
}
############ ######### ######### ######### ######### ######### #

E-mail Ids of Indian cricketers

1.LAXMAN:
available@home-only.com

2.GANGULY:
nowdays@no_use.com

3.KUMBLE:
only@test_match.com

4.SACHIN:
admitted@hospital.com

5.KAIF:
good@for_nothing.com

6.SEHWAG:
consistently@out_of_form.com

7.DRAVID:
stick@crease_like_fevicol.com

8.PATHAN:
takewickets@only_with_kenya.com

9. GREG CHAPPELL
only_experiment@noresult.com

10. Munaf Patel
only_line&length@nospeed.com

11.Harbhajan Singh
no_spinpitch@nowicket.com

12. Suresh Raina
why_i_am_there@god_knows.com

What Is Love, What Is Marriage

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.

But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.

Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.

Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.

So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."

===========================================

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage."

SQL Query--(funny....)

WeddingQuery. ...... ........ (SQL Style)

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null

SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')
END
GO

Then the wife writes the below query:

DROP
HUSBAND;
Commit;

Find the errors if possible.... .......

Nice Leave Applications

See , how people write leave Applications.

It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.

Just Read It.

The Leave Applications; )

Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:

"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."

This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."

Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:

"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."

From H.A.L. Administration Dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."

Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"

An incident of a leave letter:

"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."

A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."

Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."

Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."

Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

Letter writing:-

"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."

A candidate's job application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.

Lover offer letter

Dearest Ms Aarti,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.


I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,


Yours sincerely,

HR Manager

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,


We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.


1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether

any 're

-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.


Regards,
Banta


Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

MEANING OF D WORDS!!!

So long I never realize I don't know the real

Meaning of family...... ....

Here Is The Answer ........... FAMILY =

(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou


WHY does a man want to have a WIFE?

Because:

(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment


WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?

Because:

(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding


Do you know that a simple "HELLO" can be a sweet one?

Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfrien d).

The word HELLO means :

(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you...

Adjust.. or dont fall in love!

Really nice thought!!!!! !!!!!!

Swami Vivekananda's StunninG WordS...!!!!!

When I Asked God for Strength

He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

When I Asked God for Brain & Brown

He Gave Me Puzzles in life to Solve

When I Asked God for Happiness

He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

When I Asked God for Wealth

He Showed Me How to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Favors

He Showed Me opportunities to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Peace

He Showed Me How to Help Others

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted

He Gave Me Everything I Needed


- Swami Vivekananda

Car operating system

-
-
-

Bill's company made software to run a car.

Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"

Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.

In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.

All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.

Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."

Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."

Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

*******

Real names in bollywood

Aamir Khan - Aamir Hussain Khan

Ajay Devgan - Vishal Devgan

Ajit - Hamid Ali Khan

Akshay Kumar - Rajiv Bhatia

Amitabh Bachchan - Amit Srivastav

Ashok Kumar - Kumud Ganguly

Bobby Deol - Vijay Singh Deol

Dev Anand - Devdutt Pishorimal Anand

Dharmendra - Dharam Singh Deol

Dilip Kumar - Yusuf Khan

Govinda - Govinda Arun Ahuja

Jeetendra - Ravi Kapoor

John Abraham - Farhan Abraham

Johnny Lever - Badruddin Qazi

Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar

Kumar Gaurav - Manoj Tulli

Lucky Ali - Maqsood Mehmood Ali

Madhubala - Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi

Mahima Chaudhry - Ritu Chaudhry

Mallika Sherawat - Reema Lamba

Manoj Kumar - Hare Krishna Goswami

Nana Patekar - Vishwanath Patekar

Raj Kumar - Kulbushan Pandit

Rajesh Khanna - Jatin Khanna

Rajnikant - Sivaji Rao Gaekwad

Rekha - Bhanurekha Ganesan

Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan

Sanjeev Kumar - Haribhai Jarivala

Shammi Kapoor - Shamsher Raj Kapoor

Shashi Kapoor - Balbirraj Kapoor

Sunil Dutt - Balraj Dutt

Sunny Deol - Ajay Singh Deol

Tuntun : Uma Devi Khatri

CTS, INFY,WIPRO& TCS after 2 years

What WILL HAPPEN AFTER 2 YRS FROM NOW IF

CTS, INFY, WIPRO & TCS

GOES ON RECRUITING AT THE CURRENT PACE....

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OLALLALLA OLLEY YO

CELEBRATE WORK

J