Nights are Dark but Days are Light,
Wish your Life will always be Bright.
So my Dear don't get Fear
Coz, God Gift us a "BRAND NEW YEAR".
*HAPPY NEW YEAR*
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
12 Ways To Know That You Love Someone
IT’S TRUE!!!!
12 Ways to Know That You Love Someone
TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.
ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.
TEN:
You don’t feel Ok when he/she is far away.
NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.
EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her.
SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.
FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.
FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.
THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.
TWO:
You’ve been so busy thinking of that person that you didn’t notice that number 7 is missing.
ONE:
You are going to check above if that’s true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.
NOW MAKE A WISH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST…….
12 Ways to Know That You Love Someone
TWELVE:
You talk with him/her late at night and when you go to bed you still think of him/her.
ELEVEN:
You walk really slowly when you are with him/her.
TEN:
You don’t feel Ok when he/she is far away.
NINE:
You smile when you hear his/her voice.
EIGHT:
When you look at him/her,you do not see other people around you. You see only him/her.
SIX:
He/She is everything you want to think.
FIVE:
You realise that you smile every time you look at him/her.
FOUR:
You would do anything to see him/her.
THREE:
While you have been reading this, there was a person in your mind all the time.
TWO:
You’ve been so busy thinking of that person that you didn’t notice that number 7 is missing.
ONE:
You are going to check above if that’s true and now you are silently laughing to yourself.
NOW MAKE A WISH! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST…….
Question – Answer Love Letter
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Divya
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn’t control seeing me
(c) really … am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I’ll like your song
4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don’t know
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend’s because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won’t feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don’t know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn’t get into your bus…
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn’t notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don’t delay in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it’s getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
love,
Divya’s reply letter was also in Q/A format…… ..
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside….. right?
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn’t you understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn’t I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana’s flower Is it true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That’s why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered “Yes” to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered “No”, then you don’t know the meaning of Love.
My Dearest Divya
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn’t control seeing me
(c) really … am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I’ll like your song
4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don’t know
5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend’s because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won’t feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don’t know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn’t get into your bus…
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn’t notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual
If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don’t delay in expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it’s getting ready to bloom. If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
love,
Divya’s reply letter was also in Q/A format…… ..
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the class, sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside….. right?
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn’t you understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn’t I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana’s flower Is it true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That’s why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered “Yes” to any of the question, then I am not loving you. If you have answered “No”, then you don’t know the meaning of Love.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Only This one is expected from Indian Ladies
They cannot miss their favorite T.V. Serial even if there is flood, storm, gale or earthquake!!!!
Look at the expression of worry on helpless Husband's face near the door
Look at the expression of worry on helpless Husband's face near the door
Only great minds can read this
See if you can read the following paragraph.
Only great minds can read this.
This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it..
Only great minds can read this.
This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it..
Microsoft's Calculator failed
Microsoft's Calculator failed in following calculation.
Go to Start-->Run-->type Calc and Check the following... .
2704/50 = 54.08 Works Fine
2704/51 = 53.01960784 Works Fine
2704/52 = Try yourself Doesn't Work
2704/53 = 51.01886792 Works Fine
2704/54 = 50.07407407 Works Fine
Microsoft Calculator Failed
Try it ...
Go to Start-->Run-->type Calc and Check the following... .
2704/50 = 54.08 Works Fine
2704/51 = 53.01960784 Works Fine
2704/52 = Try yourself Doesn't Work
2704/53 = 51.01886792 Works Fine
2704/54 = 50.07407407 Works Fine
Microsoft Calculator Failed
Try it ...
An amazing array of numbers. 5,6,7,8,9,10
At SIX minutes and SEVEN seconds after 5 AM on the 8th of SEPTEMBER next year,
the time and date will be 05:06:07 08/09/10.
This will never happen again.
This will also never happpen. Each moment which is past never come again. So do as many good deeds as you can.
Because TIME NEVER WAITS.
the time and date will be 05:06:07 08/09/10.
This will never happen again.
This will also never happpen. Each moment which is past never come again. So do as many good deeds as you can.
Because TIME NEVER WAITS.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Copy this code and paste in your address bar, Wait Patiently And See
javascript:function flood(n) {if (self.moveBy) {for (i = 10; i > 0; i--) {for (j = n; j > 0; j--) {self.moveBy(1,i);self.moveBy(i,0);self.moveBy(0,-i);self.moveBy(-i,0); } } }} flood(8);{ var inp = "]IDUPARAWDLINA[........ .1102 RAEY WEN YPPAH ,LLA iH"; var outp = ""; for (i = 0; i <= inp.length; i++) { outp = inp.charAt (i) + outp ; } alert(outp) ;}; reverse
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Classroom Jokes
TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Bunny?
BUNNY : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
BUNNY : The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
NITU: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : JONY, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as
your brother’s. Did you copy his?
JONY : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!;
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Why are you late, Bunny?
BUNNY : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
BUNNY : The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.”
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
NITU: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : JONY, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as
your brother’s. Did you copy his?
JONY : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!;
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
Neck Exercise
A doctor advises his patients to exercise their neck by just reading this message.
In the end, all patients go home happily without asking the doctor for any medications. 'It is very effective,' said the doctor.
'All my patients never come back to me again.'
In the end, all patients go home happily without asking the doctor for any medications. 'It is very effective,' said the doctor.
'All my patients never come back to me again.'
Friday, November 13, 2009
Before & After
Before marriage.....
After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!
After marriage....
Simply read from bottom to top.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Puma t shirt limited edition
Hurry up! get latest puma t shirt limited edition at your nearest shopping mall...
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Japanese Names
Hi,
Please fill your name in Japanese (refer to table below) and send it to all of your friends to show how crazy it looks like.... and have fun.
PLEASE PASS IT ON........ DON'T SPOIL THE FUN
Please fill your name in Japanese (refer to table below) and send it to all of your friends to show how crazy it looks like.... and have fun.
PLEASE PASS IT ON........ DON'T SPOIL THE FUN
For Only Software Engineer Guys and Gals
For Only Software Engineer Guys and Gals
For Only Software Engineer Guys and Gals (Visual)
Those who are designated as Software Engineer ..
Those will recognize this Pictures as their Software development LifeCycle
For Only Software Engineer Guys and Gals (Visual)
Those who are designated as Software Engineer ..
Those will recognize this Pictures as their Software development LifeCycle
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Interesting Facts (Bet You're Not Aware Of This!!)
'Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand .
And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A snail can sleep for three years.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
And 'lollipop' is the longest word typed with your right hand.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
The sentence: 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog' uses every letter of the alphabet.
The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
A snail can sleep for three years.
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
A small gift from my side for Diwali
Hi,
This is a small gift from my side for Diwali.
Spend As Much As You Can, With THIS.
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This is a small gift from my side for Diwali.
Spend As Much As You Can, With THIS.
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Different types of Marketting
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich.
"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing... "
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: "He's very rich.
"Marry him." -That's Advertising. .."
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing. .."
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations... "
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:"You are very rich!
"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition. .."
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..."
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she
introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap..."
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she
goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..."
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your
wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..."
her and say: "I am very rich.
"Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing... "
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: "He's very rich.
"Marry him." -That's Advertising. .."
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich.
"Marry me - That's Telemarketing. .."
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)"Marry Me?" - That's Public Relations... "
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:"You are very rich!
"Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition. .."
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback..."
7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she
introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap..."
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she
goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share..."
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your
wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets..."
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Too good!
INFOSYSism
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.
WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.
DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.
IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.
MICROSOFTism
You have a cow . Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.
INTELism
Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don't run fast.
SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.
ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.
SAPism
You don't have a cow . You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.
APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.
SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.
CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow , press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.
HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow . You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.
GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.
RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.
TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.
You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.
WIPROism
GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.
DELLism
Intel has a Goat. Samsung has a Camel. Buy milk from both & sell it as Cow's milk.
IBMism
You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.
MICROSOFTism
You have a cow . Force the world to buy milk from you. Spend a million dollars to feed poorer cows.
INTELism
Microsoft makes horse shoes. You nail them to your cows & wonder why they don't run fast.
SUNism
You have a bull. It doesn't give milk. You hate Microsoft.
ORACLEism
You have a cow. You don't know which side to milk, so you sell tools to help milk cows.
SAPism
You don't have a cow . You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.
APPLEism
You have a cow. You sell iMilk.
SONYism
You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world's thinnest milk.
CITIBANKism
Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow , press 1. If you have a bull, press 2...stay on line if you'd like our customer care to milk it for you.
HPism
You don't know if what you have is a cow . You sell complete milking solutions through authorised resellers only.
GEism
You have a donkey. People think you have a 100-year old cow. If someone finds out, that's his imagination at work.
RELIANCEism
You don't yet have a cow. You sell empty cans to people for Rs. 501, because Dhirubhai wanted everyone to have milk.
TATAism
You have a very old cow. You re-brand it as TATA Indicow.
Company Full Names...
Company Full Names...just dont miss it.... :-
1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana
1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Nokia mobile with camera at Rs 4000/- a nice opportunity...worth checking
Nokia celebrates its success in India, Dont miss this oppurtunity!
NOKIA MOBILE PHONE WITH CAMERA ONLY Rs. 4000/- (Worth Rs 15,000/-)
NOKIA MOBILE PHONE WITH CAMERA ONLY Rs. 4000/- (Worth Rs 15,000/-)
Available in all nokia dealers from today!!
Please inform if any of Ur friends want it.........
SCROLL DOWN TO SEE THE MODEL
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Take your time and see...
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
The average person can’t
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is sweet cat
This is person cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is twenty cat
This is seconds cat
Scroll scroll
Scroll scroll
scroll down
scroll down
scroll scroll
scroll down
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down...
The average person can’t
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is sweet cat
This is person cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is twenty cat
This is seconds cat
Scroll scroll
Scroll scroll
scroll down
scroll down
scroll scroll
scroll down
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top down...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Friendship Is Like...
Friendship Is Like... NOKIA!
Connecting People!
Friendship Is Like... SAMSUNG
Every One Is Invited!
Friendship Is Like... CELL ONE
Changing Life Style!
Friendship Is Like... PHILIPS
Lets Makes Things Better!
Friendship Is Like... TAPAL
Jaisay Chaho Jeoooo!
Friendship Is Like... SPRITE
Sirf Yeh Bhujaye Pyas Baki All Bakwass!
Friendship Is Like... PEPSI
Ask For More!
Friendship Is Like... LG
Digitally Yours!
Friendship Is Like... NIKE
Just Do It!
Friendship Is Like... HABIB
Kyoun Kay Ye Dil Ka Mamla Hai!
Friendship Is Like... WAVES
Naam Hi Kafi Hai!
Friendship Is Like... BUTTER SCOTCH (hmmm)
Chalti Jayee Chalti Jayee Chali Jayeeeee!
Friendship Is Like... COCA COLA
Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
But my frndship is like LIC
Zindagi k sath bhi n
Zindagi k baad bhiiiii
Connecting People!
Friendship Is Like... SAMSUNG
Every One Is Invited!
Friendship Is Like... CELL ONE
Changing Life Style!
Friendship Is Like... PHILIPS
Lets Makes Things Better!
Friendship Is Like... TAPAL
Jaisay Chaho Jeoooo!
Friendship Is Like... SPRITE
Sirf Yeh Bhujaye Pyas Baki All Bakwass!
Friendship Is Like... PEPSI
Ask For More!
Friendship Is Like... LG
Digitally Yours!
Friendship Is Like... NIKE
Just Do It!
Friendship Is Like... HABIB
Kyoun Kay Ye Dil Ka Mamla Hai!
Friendship Is Like... WAVES
Naam Hi Kafi Hai!
Friendship Is Like... BUTTER SCOTCH (hmmm)
Chalti Jayee Chalti Jayee Chali Jayeeeee!
Friendship Is Like... COCA COLA
Enjoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
But my frndship is like LIC
Zindagi k sath bhi n
Zindagi k baad bhiiiii
WHY A STUDENT FAILS ???
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year has ONLY 365' days.
Typical academic year for a student.
1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days !
Days left 81.
7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness atleast 3 days.
Remaining days 3.
10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?"
Balance days 0
"How can a student PASS
Typical academic year for a student.
1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days.
Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days.
Days left 126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days.
Days left 96.
6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days !
Days left 81.
7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.
Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.
Balance 6 days.
9. For sickness atleast 3 days.
Remaining days 3.
10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days.
1 day left.
11. That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?"
Balance days 0
"How can a student PASS
ATTITUDE
If
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is equal to
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then,
Hard Work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
Knowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
Love
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54%
Luck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47%
most of us think this is the most important ??? )
Then what makes 100% ?
Is it Money ? .. NO ! ! !
M+O+N+E+Y
13+15+14+5+25 = 72%
Leadership ? .... NO ! ! !
L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P
12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89%
Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude.
To go to the top,
to that 100% ,
what we really need to go further... a bit more...
ATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100%
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is equal to
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then,
Hard Work
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
Knowledge
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
Love
L+O+V+E
12+15+22+5 = 54%
Luck
L+U+C+K
12+21+3+11 = 47%
most of us think this is the most important ??? )
Then what makes 100% ?
Is it Money ? .. NO ! ! !
M+O+N+E+Y
13+15+14+5+25 = 72%
Leadership ? .... NO ! ! !
L+E+A+D+E+R+S+H+I+P
12+5+1+4+5+18+19+9+16 = 89%
Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our attitude.
To go to the top,
to that 100% ,
what we really need to go further... a bit more...
ATTITUDE
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100%
Saturday, July 25, 2009
About Orkut
A guy lost his girlfriend in a train accident....
But the gal's name nowhere appeared in the dead list. This guy grew up n became IT technical architect in his late 20's, achievement in itself!!
He hired developers from the whole globe and plan to make a software where he could search for his gf through the web..
Things went as planned...
n he found her, after losing millions of dollars and 3 long years!!
It was time to shut down the search operation, when the CEO of Google had a
word with this guy n took over this application,
This Software made a whopping 1 billion dollars profit in its first year, which we today know as ORKUT.
The guy's name is ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN Yes its named after him only. Today he is paid a hefty sum by Google for the things we do like scrapping. He is expected to be the richest person by 2009..
ORKUT BUYUKKOTEN today has 13 assistants to monitor his scrapbook & 8 to monitor his friends-list. He gets around 20,000 friend-requests a day & about 85,000 scraps!!!
Some other Cool Facts about this guy:
* He gets $12 from Google when every person registers to this website.
* He also gets $10 when you add somebody as a friend.
* He gets $8 when your friend's friend adds you as a friend & gets $6 if
anybody adds you as friend in the resulting chain.
* He gets $5 when you scrap somebody & $4 when somebody scraps you.
* He also gets $200 for each photograph you upload on Orkut.
* He gets $2.5 when you add your friend in the crush-list or in the hot-list.
* He gets $2 when you become somebody's fan.
* He gets $1.5 when somebody else becomes your fan.
* He even gets $1 every time you logout of Orkut.
* He gets $0.5 every time you just change your profile-photograph.
* He also gets $0.5 every time you read your friend's scrap-book & $0.5 every time
you view your friend's friend-list.
' WOW!!!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Don't marry software girl
Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U .
Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles. .
Better marry a girl ...not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY
Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles. .
Better marry a girl ...not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY
Urgent vacancy for the post of girl friend
Girl Friend
Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.
Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.
Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.
A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.
Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)
Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.
There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.
Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.
Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with
Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.
Disclaimer :- this is only an email i have no need any girl friend....
Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.
Designation : Junior girl friend (trainee)
Experience : Fresher with excellent credentials will be considered
Other requirement : Should have the Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.
Age : 18-26 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar, but is subjective.
Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
· bike rides each duration 1 hour
· trips to National Highways
· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
· Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
· Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
· 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)
Total gross ( Monthly ) :
· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
· bike rides each duration 1 hour
· trips to National Highways
· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Isckon Temple
· Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
· Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
· 2 movies (Family movies only) per month (on weekends)
· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every Weekend (On your own expense)
A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.
Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and un-professional taxes will be informed on joining
The probation period is 6 months, after which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)
Plz NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends will be eligible only if they agree to the above mentioned conditions.
There is more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral. Program by referring their friend, colleagues etc.
Candle light or Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.
Search,,,,,, , never ends!!
Interested candidates can send their resume with
Subject:
Name/fresher- exp/age.
Photo must be in attachment. to the email address via mail
Note: Applications without photo will be rejected.
Disclaimer :- this is only an email i have no need any girl friend....
"Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"
Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Tv has no place in love..
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".
Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.
Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.
Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.
Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.
Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.
Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.
Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.
Tv has no place in love..
Marriage is a fight for remote control.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".
Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"
How will developer Fix the bug !!!!!
#include
#define LAST 10
int main()
{
int i, sum = 0;
for ( i = 1; i < = LAST; i++ ) { sum += i; }
printf("sum = %d\n", sum);
return 0;
}
############ ######### ######### ###
And the developer fixes it this way
..
...
..
..
..
..
......
..
..
..
..
############ ######### ######### ######### ######### ######### #
#include stdio.h;
int main()
{
int i, sum = 0;
/*
*/
for ( i = 1; i < = LAST; i++ ) {
}
/*-for-*/
printf("sum = %d\n", sum);
}
############ ######### ######### ######### ######### ######### #
E-mail Ids of Indian cricketers
1.LAXMAN:
available@home-only.com
2.GANGULY:
nowdays@no_use.com
3.KUMBLE:
only@test_match.com
4.SACHIN:
admitted@hospital.com
5.KAIF:
good@for_nothing.com
6.SEHWAG:
consistently@out_of_form.com
7.DRAVID:
stick@crease_like_fevicol.com
8.PATHAN:
takewickets@only_with_kenya.com
9. GREG CHAPPELL
only_experiment@noresult.com
10. Munaf Patel
only_line&length@nospeed.com
11.Harbhajan Singh
no_spinpitch@nowicket.com
12. Suresh Raina
why_i_am_there@god_knows.com
available@home-only.com
2.GANGULY:
nowdays@no_use.com
3.KUMBLE:
only@test_match.com
4.SACHIN:
admitted@hospital.com
5.KAIF:
good@for_nothing.com
6.SEHWAG:
consistently@out_of_form.com
7.DRAVID:
stick@crease_like_fevicol.com
8.PATHAN:
takewickets@only_with_kenya.com
9. GREG CHAPPELL
only_experiment@noresult.com
10. Munaf Patel
only_line&length@nospeed.com
11.Harbhajan Singh
no_spinpitch@nowicket.com
12. Suresh Raina
why_i_am_there@god_knows.com
What Is Love, What Is Marriage
A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."
===========================================
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage."
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he start to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realise, you have already miss the person...."
===========================================
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfy, and come back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage."
SQL Query--(funny....)
WeddingQuery. ...... ........ (SQL Style)
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null
SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')
END
GO
Then the wife writes the below query:
DROP
HUSBAND;
Commit;
Find the errors if possible.... .......
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null
SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalan ce FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')
END
GO
Then the wife writes the below query:
DROP
HUSBAND;
Commit;
Find the errors if possible.... .......
Nice Leave Applications
See , how people write leave Applications.
It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.
Just Read It.
The Leave Applications; )
Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."
This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"
An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.
It's murder of English language. But Too Funny.
Just Read It.
The Leave Applications; )
Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife , please sanction me one-week leave."
This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave."
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave"
An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.
Lover offer letter
Dearest Ms Aarti,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager
Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether
any 're
-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether
any 're
-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
MEANING OF D WORDS!!!
So long I never realize I don't know the real
Meaning of family...... ....
Here Is The Answer ........... FAMILY =
(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou
WHY does a man want to have a WIFE?
Because:
(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment
WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?
Because:
(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding
Do you know that a simple "HELLO" can be a sweet one?
Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfrien d).
The word HELLO means :
(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you...
Meaning of family...... ....
Here Is The Answer ........... FAMILY =
(F)ather
(A)nd
(M)other
(I)
(L)ove
(Y)ou
WHY does a man want to have a WIFE?
Because:
(W)ashing
(I)roning
(F)ood
(E)ntertainment
WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?
Because:
(H)ousing
(U)nderstanding
(S)haring
(B)uying
(A)nd
(N)ever
(D)emanding
Do you know that a simple "HELLO" can be a sweet one?
Especially from your love one. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfrien d).
The word HELLO means :
(H)ow are you?
(E)verything all right?
(L)ike to hear from you
(L)ove to see you soon!
(O)bviously, I miss you...
Swami Vivekananda's StunninG WordS...!!!!!
When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face
When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in life to Solve
When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People
When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me opportunities to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others
God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed
- Swami Vivekananda
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face
When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in life to Solve
When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People
When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me opportunities to Work Hard
When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others
God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed
- Swami Vivekananda
Car operating system
-
-
-
-
-
Bill's company made software to run a car.
Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."
Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.
*******
Real names in bollywood
Aamir Khan - Aamir Hussain Khan
Ajay Devgan - Vishal Devgan
Ajit - Hamid Ali Khan
Akshay Kumar - Rajiv Bhatia
Amitabh Bachchan - Amit Srivastav
Ashok Kumar - Kumud Ganguly
Bobby Deol - Vijay Singh Deol
Dev Anand - Devdutt Pishorimal Anand
Dharmendra - Dharam Singh Deol
Dilip Kumar - Yusuf Khan
Govinda - Govinda Arun Ahuja
Jeetendra - Ravi Kapoor
John Abraham - Farhan Abraham
Johnny Lever - Badruddin Qazi
Kamal Haasan- Alwarpettai Aandavar
Kumar Gaurav - Manoj Tulli
Lucky Ali - Maqsood Mehmood Ali
Madhubala - Mumtaz Jehan Begum Dehlavi
Mahima Chaudhry - Ritu Chaudhry
Mallika Sherawat - Reema Lamba
Manoj Kumar - Hare Krishna Goswami
Nana Patekar - Vishwanath Patekar
Raj Kumar - Kulbushan Pandit
Rajesh Khanna - Jatin Khanna
Rajnikant - Sivaji Rao Gaekwad
Rekha - Bhanurekha Ganesan
Salman Khan- Abdul Rashid Salim Salman Khan
Sanjeev Kumar - Haribhai Jarivala
Shammi Kapoor - Shamsher Raj Kapoor
Shashi Kapoor - Balbirraj Kapoor
Sunil Dutt - Balraj Dutt
Sunny Deol - Ajay Singh Deol
Tuntun : Uma Devi Khatri
CTS, INFY,WIPRO& TCS after 2 years
What WILL HAPPEN AFTER 2 YRS FROM NOW IF
CTS, INFY, WIPRO & TCS
GOES ON RECRUITING AT THE CURRENT PACE....
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CTS, INFY, WIPRO & TCS
GOES ON RECRUITING AT THE CURRENT PACE....
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OLALLALLA OLLEY YO
CELEBRATE WORK
J
J
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